Why People Like Katy Perry

The people who like Katy Perry like her because she reminds them of them. To wit, she is the poster girl for popular kids who dress like hipsters.

Look at the video for the piece-of-shit song "Teenage Dream," the second single and title track off Perry's new album.

We begin with Katy Perry sitting in the passenger's seat of a beat-up BMW drop-top, with her flowing black bangs falling over her Ray-Bans. She's wearing a bunch of mildly exotic-looking jewelery; her tank top is full of strategically-placed holes; she has something in Sanskrit tattooed on the underside of her arm. The guy driving is wearing a faded white t-shirt, old leather boots and a trucker hat, possibly from Urban Outfitters, with something written on the front. Their jeans are both fashionably ripped. Speeding down the highway, they pass other similarly cool and offbeat-looking "emerging adults," who point and wave excitedly: two guys in a rusty red pickup, one wearing big glasses and black-and-blue plaid; and a whole little quirky posse, yellow shades and Indian headdresses and all, in a white convertible. In the remainder of the video, we see lots of horizontal-striped t-shirts, more ripped pants, shaggy long hair, leather jackets, and so on. The party at the end is full of hot white people pairing off, along with one slightly dark-skinned guy and one quirky-looking fat girl to set the mood.

American Apparel has become the new Abercrombie & Fitch. Which is to say, hipsterdom is living out its pathetic final years--its "Vegas years," if you will--among the kids in high school who throw parties every weekend and don't invite you. All they do is look at each other on Facebook all day, and look at themselves, and you want to be one of them.